Can Both Women And Men Just Be Friends? Steve Harvey Says No
Harvey tackles age-old relationship concern, challenges one couple that is unmarried.
Aug. 19, 2009 — It really is an age-old concern every couple faces: Can men and ladies actually be “just buddies” or does intimate attraction and envy dominate? Imagine if anyone remains in contact with an ex, or has an opposite-sex pal?
“Good Morning America” special contributor Steve Harvey will follow Billy Crystal’s character into the film “When Harry Met Sally, ” whom famously stated, “Males and ladies can not be friends. The sex part almeanss gets in the genuine method. “
A research when you look at the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology estimated that an opposite-sex friendship may result in an event normally as 15 % of that time period.
Whom more straightforward to weigh in on this relationship that is classic as compared to guy whose brand brand new relationship book “Act Like A Lady, Think just Like A Man” sits at number 1 in the nyc Times Hardcover guidance bestseller list?
Author, comedian, actor and host Steve Harvey tackled this subject with amount of couples.
Justin Vanlandschoot and Stacy Marsch
Hitched for four years
Vanlandschoot, 33, had a lady buddy who was simply coaching him in a competition that is speaking. Marsch, 37, knew it was signed, “Love ya. About her, but one day saw an e-mail from her husband to this woman and”
Although Marsch states that both women and men might have opposite-sex friends, she felt uncomfortable and confronted him.
Vanlandschoot claims even though there ended up being next to nothing happening between him and their buddy, it had been perhaps not well worth jeopardizing their wedding in which he finished the relationship.
“You typed, ‘love you’? ” Harvey asked Valandschott. “that is pretty dangerous. I can not also type ‘We as you a great deal’ without beginning an important fire. “
He told Valandschott which he did the thing that is right closing the relationship.
“I’m simply regarding the belief that a few should form a two-handed circle, ” Harvey said. “Outside relationships. Just what good do they bring to your wedding? “
Aaron Bouw and Lindsey Dahlin
Dating for three to four months
Dahlin, 25, claims it really is fine for males and females to ” be buddies. Simply” nevertheless, Bouw, 29, says that women pull the card that is naive and do not realize it whenever a male friend is enthusiastic about them. Bouw states he trusts Dahlin, he simply does not trust her guy buddies.
“I’m sure just exactly just how guys think, ” Bouw stated. “We have the one thing on our brain. “
Harvey told Buow he had been attempting to mark their territory, maybe perhaps not protect Dahlin.
“which is just how males are, that is the way we think, ” Harvey stated. “It is very nearly practically impossible for a guy become a lady’s buddy. The reason that is only’re your friend is because you have made it completely clear it will probably site right here go no more than this. “
Can Both Women And Men be Friends just?
Sharon and Bill Brewser
Sharon Brewster, 53, stated she nearly called down her wedding because she discovered a message that is text an other woman on the spouse’s mobile phone that ended with “sweet desires. “
“we heard Bill’s phone set off, ” she stated. “we sought out and confronted him. I happened to be really upset. “
“she actually is definitely not saying have sweet longs for your lady, ” Harvey said.
Sharon’s spouse, Bill Brewster, 52, informed her which he always got along better with women than guys. But understanding that Sharon will not think both women and men are “simply buddies, ” he failed to tell her about several of their feminine buddies.
“the top blunder that we made ended up being that she did not learn about her, ” Bill said.
Mary Fitzgerald and Bill Soldwisch
Dating for 11 years
Fitzgerald and Soldwisch both have actually buddies for the opposite-sex and state it’s never ever been a challenge. Even though few have not hitched, they remain committed and state they might never ever do just about anything to jeopardize the partnership.
Having feminine buddies has “never been an issue, ” Soldwisch said. “they are my close friends. I have been lucky to include myself with confident ladies in my entire life. “
“they are going to be urge, nevertheless when you are in a real committed relationship, why ruin a great thing? ” Fitzgerald stated.
Harvey had been amazed Fitzgerald did not need to get hitched.
” We do not have interest that is particular being hitched, ” she stated. “we do not require the sheet of paper. “
They do make reference to one another as couple, making it “easier for the public that is general” Soldwisch stated.
“we simply do not know a lady would youn’t wish to be hitched, ” Harvey stated. “we’m stuck. “
Can Gents And Ladies Stay Friends? Watchers Weigh In
“GMA” additionally received a huge selection of emails from audiences desperate to join the discussion.
Angela McDaniel from Lufkin, Tex., composed in about psychological infidelity.
“My spouse has already established a few friends that are female i did not find out about. Should your partner doesn’t realize about their buddy then you’re having a difficult event! If perhaps you weren’t there is no good explanation to slip & keep in touch with the buddy. “
Brenda Velasquez from Modesto, Calif., claims both women and men may be friends without causing dilemmas inside their wedding. ” simply simply simply Take me personally for a good example. After my very first wedding, we’re nevertheless buddies. In reality my ex-husband is leasing a space from my husband that is current and. I think, it is only regarding how civilized and developed you’re in the situation and relationship. “
Heather from Birch Run, Mich., e-mailed “GMA” to inquire of Harvey a concern.
“My companion is a male. We dated for a tremendously small amount of time a few years back right after twelfth grade. Whenever my now spouse and I also began dating he knew we hung out several times about him and. But about 2 yrs directly after we got hitched my better half began comments that are making him. Now every right time we battle, he tosses him up within my face. No clue is had by me ways to get him to get rid of. Any a few ideas? “